Zelda McFigg is 4’11”, 237 pounds, and believes she could have been somebody, if only somebody had recognized her inner beauty and star quality. She runs away from home at age 14, and at age 49 1/4 (living in circumstances that only become known at the end of the book) she decides to write her furiously funny memoir to “set the record straight” about who she is and how under-appreciated she has been.

Never mind that Zelda lies, “borrows” office supplies, incinerates houses, and generally creates havoc wherever she lands. Never mind that despite having dropped out of the eighth grade, she teaches English to the “juvenile delinquents at Moose Country Middle School” somewhere in the “Vermont tundra” for nearly three decades; it wasn’t her fault that the principal never checked her credentials. It still is not fair that she remains in the shadows as others take credit for her work and achieve the success and public validation that she craves.

This fictional memoir chronicles Zelda’s relationship with the only man she’s ever loved, her student, Donny Sherman, an Abenaki Indian. Although she is his mentor, it often appears that Donny is the one in charge, and it is his final betrayal that is her undoing.

The Last Will & Testament of Zelda McFigg, spanning 1975-2010, is the story of being liberated from the craving to be important, the pressure to succeed, the fear of failure. Zelda McFigg finally awakens from the American dream — a dream as distorted as any other dream.